What am I doing wrong, why can't I be happy... Whenever I don't have anything on my mind there's a huge gap in my stomach, feels like I'm empty... It hurts and there's no stopping the pain... No quenching, just unending torment.

I can't take it, every time I look at it, it just worsens my state... Is there no remedy for the this disease which I've contracted... No cure for something that is broken, yet together at the same time.

It's a familiar feeling, but I remembered what happened last time... I don't want that to happen again... But I know it will, it's the direction I'm headed and there is no altering the course.

What can I do but wait and see...

The void which there used to be something is bleeding itself dry, more and more does it loose with each passing day.

Cold, colder than usual. Feels like it used to, only not... Worse. Three layers and it still runs to the bone. Chills every time...

I look at it and, the thoughts, the memories... Flooding back, everything has it's own feel, it's own essence, but everything runs back to the same source.

Things that never were once are... Things that were possible no longer are.

Fear, unending fear... Of what, for what...

What does it mean...